New direction, just same old stuff

I have been talking about for some time now, but finally I had to put my foot down, or contiually be ran over and thrown under the bus. I really should not have but when I have slaved for nearly 3 months, seeing countless others, get thrown under the bus, or themselves, I just had to say enough was enough. I took a chance yesterday and put my foot down to work. And to make a long story short, yes I lost my job. I was tired of being used and having to be the go to guy. It has really gotten old and it has worn me out so much, I dreaded being there. Sudden hourly changes, being called last minute to do this, can't go out the back door to take a break, can't relaly take a break since there is so much to do there. Can't get a soda for free, have to pay for it, can't get a meal unless you are off duty and then  it's 50% off, or when you are on duty, you have to have it rung up first. Before I could have my wife come in the back, sit in chair and have her watch me work. No more of that. It just felt like a prison cell. And if thats how they want to run the place, that is not for me. And when our other cook had an issue 2 weeks ago, (it was a drug reaction to another drug) I told 3 managers to get him out and I was going to finish the shift for him, they all refused and just let him work and continue to say and do whatever he felt like making me feel uncomfortable in that place. I had to walk out then get written up for "leaving without manager approval." When I asked to drop my hours so I could get some more time at home since Chris is having problems with her pregnancy, my boss is told by the owner, to only give me half my raise since that is all I am worth if I am working part time. And it just goes on and on from there. I am sorry I took the job but at the same time glad that I did. It did help and gave me a sense of belonging and self respect. But when they stop respecting you, thats where I draw the line. So back to the drawing board. These next few weeks are going to be interesting since Chris is so close to her due date, that not many employers will hire me if they find out I am taking a week off work when the baby is born, but they will have to deal with it. She will be my last child. I never thought I would have 4 kids. But I guess the Lord knew what I need and blessed me with my daughter first, though I will not be raising her, I pray she can forgive me and love me when we meet again. I love my boys, they are a pain sometimes and they are a joy to be with. Just coming home yeaterday from going to yard and garage sales, JJ was going, "Mama mama mama mama" as we were pulling into our trailer park. It was so cute. And Ben with his trains. It doesn't matter if it is Thomas, if it is a train he loves it. I can't wait to meet my new daughter and do whatever I can to keep my family close to me. I have already lost so much in the past few years, I just pray I can continue to endure and love my life and live it to the fullest, so that one day, when my family is gathered around me to send me home, not only can they say they loved me, but they were loved by me, and knew that I did the best I could for them.