As the song says, the Light will come.

Wow, what a good day. Didn't get too well sleep last night but got up anyway and took care of some things that needed to be done. Then Chris and I got on Toontown online and played for a while. We finished up a movie we started last night but were too tired to finish it. Wild Wild West. I haven't seen that in years. Good to see something fun and enjoy the time with the one I love. I had my interview and I think it went really well. They are going to call me by Monday to have another interview with the head boss and see what we can go from there. I may be working at 3 different Winegars stores, due the fact they need the help in the 3. So I may have a full time job either next door, in Roy or in Bountiful. To me it does not matter. I just need to work. The guy who I talked to today asked if I could work in the other stores as needed, and I said not a problem. I probably shot low for a pay grade, but I said I would leave it up to them. Start me off low and let me work my way up. Prove to them that I know this work and enjoy it. I know it was not my doing to get this job, I am sure God had a hand in it. And I thank Him for it. I have been reading Jesus the Christ lately and trying to think what He would think, do as He would do, and say as He would speak. Plus I am finding me in Him. I want to be like Him, I need to be more like Him then I am now. Someday.

Silver lining, light at the end of the tunnel, who knows

For the last several weeks, maybe even last month or so, I have been on a Hell bent journey to go there. Hell would be a better place then where I am right now in life. Yesterday at Church, something didn't touch me, but had me sit back and make me think. I know the first talk was on music and how it can influence our lives to be better and make life easier. I have always thought that and know it to be true. Even on my darkest days, music has pulled me from the depths of hell I felt I was in and pulled me free. Some words of the hymns that were discusses, didn't really hit me, but made me think. Who am I really, why am i here, where am I going after this? Then something stuck me while waiting for Chris at her moms place. Do i really know who my Saviour is? Have I asked Him who He is? I have always been told who He is, and why he did what He did. And thats what I beleived to be gospel. But I never really came to that conclusion that I needed to know who He was to me, not to anyone else. I am just beginning the journey that I know will someday bring back the spirit and find me somewhere. As they say, you can't know another unless you walk a mile in their shoes. Maybe I need to do that. Walk a mile in the Saviours shoes and see what He see's, say what He would say, do what He would do. I do not know where this will lead me, but it will be a better place then where I am now.

Nice day

Wow, what a very nice and WARM day. I can't believe it is almost summer. Man the years just go by so fast I can hardly keep up. This blog is so nice to be able to write what i want and not have some punk ass stupid bitch ball me out for expressing my feelings. Now I feel I can relax and just be myself and if you don't like what i write, don't bother reading it. Its not for you anyway. My Ex-FIL told my wife to call, and guess what? She hasn't yet. And she won't She is going to let him take time to chill, but she will warn him if he threatens me again, she will never talk to him or her mom ever again. so as they say, Actions speak louder then words, so we will see. As of right now, we are planning on moving to the SL area near the beginning of July. All we need to do is secure some jobs, and a house or an apartment. I know Kevin is willing to help us out, and he knows I could get a job with where he works for me. I know Chris may be able to get a transfer to another Godfathers store in the area too. So we will just have to wait and see as it gets closer. I would like to move when her parents go to Michigan this summer to see her moms parents and family. That way, when they get back, they will not be able to find us. I told my plan to Chris and she didn't seem to have a problem with it. Pack it all up, get it in a Uhaul, type up a letter to her mom, drop the keys and the payment book in the envelope and drop off the whole thing at her moms place while she is gone. Then off we go. Our number will be changed, and when it si, it will be blocked to everyone. That way the Ex-MIL cannot find us. Hate to do it this way, but you know I am tired of the Bull Shit I have been getting from her family ever since I moved here. I am not saving Chris from it, I am saving myself from fucking killing them and being kill by a firing squad. Fuck the whole saying that you should stand and fight, I have been ever since I got here and I do not have to take it anymore and I am removing myself from it. Well enough said, I need to take care of my boogie. I think he did his Dooty in the diaper, so off I go for another unfun night of nada to do. Laderz!

Does shit really hit fans?

So here is the deal for Sunday. Got time to head down to SL to see my bud Kevin and hang out with him and what not. So I am thinking we'd leave by 2pm, have the kids ready to go and just go. Oh no, they have no swim suits for their trip to Michigan in JULY, so THEY HAVE TO HAVE A NEW suit before they can go. 2 Months before they go. The kids are out of school next week, they have all June to go shopping, yet they pick the day i want to get out and have some fun to ruin my day with. After waiting at the shopping place for a fucking hour, i got pissed and just left. Got home, was getting harrassed that is wasn't going to take much longer. When my EX-MIL shops, she takes hours to get just the right BS on these kids. I have had it with her. I was so pissed I called the crisis line to talk to someone about it, as pissed as I was. So after talking to my friend, I said fine whatever, went and got my wife. Her dad tried to stop me from taking her. I hit the gas pedal and we took off. I have had enough of his and his fucking wifes BS. I am putting a restraing order on them, I am calling DCPS on them for the way they keep house. They wanted to fuck with the bull, they will get the horns too. Oh and when we got back from Kevins place, had a message on the phone. From her dad, saying that if she does not call and he is taking teh day off, so there is no reason why she can't call, then her kids go bye bye. And also said that if I block her from calling that they will be gone. So if they go that route, they will be investigated anyway with CPS and have to answer for their BS. So we win either way. But i had a great time with Kevin. Too bad he may be called as a Bishop soon, but if he is, thats the Lords choice. So thats that. Goodnight all.

May 14, 2008

Well I have made it a week without wanting to harm myself or anyone else. So I lived up to the deal I made with the councilor. But I am wondering if I will be able to attend school this term. There is just too much to do and get approved for, that I do not know if I will be able to make it this time. But I would like to do it and hopefully this time succeed. I am still looking at the Pharm Tech, but I would like to do business also. We'll see later what happens. As for now, I just need to get back working so that we do not get screwed. And if i have to wait for 10-12 weeks, before the next term, then I will do that. That gives us plenty of time to get the stuff together and figure everything out. We will see later. Got to run and get the wife. Laterz.

Crappy day

Well the day did start out alright until I got to Chris' work. Then it all went downhill from there. I am not a complete computer guru, since I do not know much about how to fix an alignment on a printer. So we got into it and I left. On teh way home after picking her up we got into it again pretty heavy. So i kicked her out at home and I went to the police station. I was handcuffed and brought to the hospital for an evaluation. I need to get back to counceling and get me back. On the way to the hospital, I was informed that I had an arrest warrent for not paying a ticket. That I already knew when i went in there. So now I have got to find out why this keeps happening. Besides being depressed there must be something that is keeping me from being a "normal" person. Well I feel better now for typing this and hopefully I will save it for my councelor and see what they think of it.