Update

Wow, I guess I have been missing a few things. I have been so focused on doing a good job at my work, that I have not taken the time to sit back and relax and let my feelings out. Being a tax software tech is stressful, we have customers calling and just about cry when they call because form 8839 line 3 doesn't flow to the return and they need it right now or life will end. The dead line for 990 returns are this Saturday and if they can't get them out these companies will be penalised and charged from the IRS for not getting their forms in on time. Yeah here is a good one from this week. A volunteer fire dept will be fine $60,000 if the 990 forms are not filed in time. $60,000 fine for not filing on time. They are non-profit. Its ridiculous. Yet the CPS's and whatnot we talk too, have to get it done. Its the law, good old tax law. So if they are having problems on their computers with our software, we have to fix it, or its their backside. And we would loose that account. They would stop doing business with us. Now in the scheme of restaurant work, its the same as a customer getting bad service from lets say Burger King. That person tells 10 other people, they in turn tell 10 of their friends and it just snow balls from there. CPA's will be calling in asking to talk to sales and cancel their accounts and Red Gear is out of the tax software business. Jobs are lost, families are ruined, all hell fire and damnation go loose. Its Pandora's box and the crash of 1933 all over again. OK maybe not that bad, but it can be.



Thank you Sarah for the blogs you wrote. I am sure being a stay at home mom does have a lot of challenges. I was a stay at home dad during most of the year and wanting to get out and do things once in a while was such a nice treat. Though I can understand wanting to get the house cleaned up and try to make it look like you did something there. Going through pictures of loved ones that are not with us for now, is hard. I too wonder if Emma thinks of me. I gather I have been just going through a time that I need to be a hard ass and get to work and do it and worry about everything else that needs to be done in the house and elsewhere, while still working and getting things done. My stress level has gotten to the point that I have been snapping back at the wife and others. I used to be able to take Ben when he cries and just talk to him and he is ok, but just a few minutes of his crying drives me up the wall. I need to get out tonight or tomorrow before I fully snap. I know as I was getting into this job, we didn't play Toontown and life a was a little stressful, but we did other things that de-stressed us. we watched movies, and videos and just relaxed with each other. Now if I can't get a task done on TT I snap. Other toons who basically screw around and get us killed, piss me off to no end. The walkway into our home, always has stuff in the way and I have to over step just to get in. As they say, its the little things that get in the way. So maybe tonight, we go out, have a nice dinner, maybe rent a movie, go by Circuit City since they are closing and see what kinda deal we can get for Chris for a better computer. She needs it so badly. The old one she has at nights freezes up on us when we play games that it really upsets me to the point that we stop talking to each other. It really disturbs me. I think we may just take a break from the game for a few days or whatnot. Saturday I am hoping to head down to SL to go to the planetarium and go see a show. It'll get us out of the house and we can have fun down there.

On a personal note, I am happy that I have finally been able to get my life back on track. Leaving the church was not one of the brightest things I have ever done. Nor was giving up my membership for one night or several nights/weeks/months of enjoyment. It is an important part of a healthy relationship with your partner, but to have it be a focus for life's pursuit, I realised that yes it is to help those who have not had the chance to be here on earth have that chance, and recreation for married couples, but its a deeper meaning then that. I have watched the movies American Pie so many times, that sometimes I wonder if I was like Stiffler in some regard. And you can fill in the blanks here, that I was only as good as the last... Yes I am a male, I do have my urges and physical needs, but I have the inner spirit, who remembers who he is and where he came from, why is he here, and where he is going after this life. Some days I forget who he is. I get so lost in the now, that i forget there is someone else that is there. I do not see Him, but i know He is there. I do not always acknowledge him in the way that should be done, and I know how much it hurts him. But the one thing that I know there is the way to ask Him for forgiveness. Doing what he asks of me. Going every Sunday, partaking the sacrament, reading His words from the lips of the prophets. Going to him in humility and asking forgiveness. Bringing back the spirit in my life to help me remember Him. I am not perfect, but I love my wife, i love my children, I love the Lord, I love his church, I know its true. I am so grateful for Him and his atonement. I still do not know what the road ahead has for me, but I know that it is what the Lord wants me to do, and I need to get off my duff and do it. Stop sweating the small stuff and look at the big picture. Stop sometimes and smell the roses. If i don't i will miss it all.