Memories

I'll begin to write this, though i can't think of a good enough title to name it. I am so grateful for my work that I am able to see my home town newspaper on the web while I am at work. Today I just looked over the Obits and found a name I hadn't forgotten, but I knew them well. There was an older couple in my home ward of California, their names are the Melgers. They are German immigrants that came here to get a life for themselves. They are also converts to the church. I can't fully remember the situation, but Brother Melger was in the hospital one time, and i was there visiting someone else or something, I don't remember, but i happened to their room and visited with them for a while. I remember Sister Melger told me of their conversion story, how the missionaries knocked on their door and they joined right there. They knew it was true. She had also told me the first time they went to the temple, and that for the next several months, they had to keep getting new garments, due to the fact that all the Irish coffee they drank, that the alcohol in their system was coming out in their pores, so that the garments stunk like coffee and alcohol. This happened for a month or so after they went to the temple, after they had given it up. Their bodies were purifying themselves again, from the normality they were accustomed too. After their bodies were purified, they no longer had the smell or their garments were no longer stained by their old habits. That has always stuck with me. To let you know, it is Sister Melger who has passed away. She used to make German potato salad for all the church functions. Man they were good. She used to bake with her grand kids whenever they came over. She always had something they were doing when I would go to their house to visit. I wonder if Arnold is going to be like President Hinckley, when his beloved Sister Hinckley passed away. The Melgers were the sweetest couple I have ever seen, next to President Hinckley. I pray that she is at rest now, with family before her, prophets and apostles. I pray Arnold will be at peace too, and the family and know that the Lord has called her home.

Happy things in life

Sometime ago, I was told that I was weird. Now i don't think that was an accurate saying about me, I would say that I was more unique then anything. I have my own taste in music, books, friends, way i have desktop icons on my computer. I like when I am doing intricate work, to stick out my tongue and grit my teeth. I have to have parts to fix things in certain spots so that I don't lose them. With kids that come in and out of the house, I bitch a little due to having to pay higher bills for their arrogance. When i watch a movie I like, and it has sequel's, I have to watch them all. When i am at work, I have to have my desk just the way i want it, or I can't work. Some may call this OCD, others call it weird. I call it me. On my server for WOW, there has been some really neat topics that they have made and commented on. Such as the topic for writing a 4 word story, then it gets passed on. Lets just say that some people have imaginations, and others have sick minds. Nuff said about that. I know for the last month or so, I have been wanting to go down to SL and just go have some fun. It has not happened. I have just let it go and I can wait now until my parents are here and we can go together. One thing i was not pleased about or happy was the fact i did not get tickets for the MoTab Choir Christmas Concert, for my moms birthday. But oh well stuff happens.
(I may go off on many tangents in this blog)
Last night I got my wife's new video card for her computer. It only took me 1 1/2 hours to get it the way I needed it to be. First the drivers I got from the web site were not the right ones. So i went to Microsoft update site and downloaded the correct driver and then restarted it. I went to the settings and played around a bit and finally got it to work. Now when Chris plays Toontown, she can see what she needs to see. Now we are waiting on the memory sticks to give it a boost. i am hoping to be able to get memory for my computer too soon. I need at least another gig just to have it running faster. I do want to during 09 is to get Chris a new computer. Or at least a faster and updated one. So we will see.
Last Saturday, was our Stake Conference. I was able to go to the Saturday night session and what a night it was. the speakers were are S Presidency and wow. The spirit was there. There was only one other time that I was that filled with the spirit. That was in Idaho when Elder Newinschander(spelling) came to our stake to speak to us. He spoke for the Priesthood session on Saturday night and we went over the document from the 1st Presidency, "The Living Christ." We read it, phrase by phrase, paragraph by such. Sentence by such, word by word. It was incredible. This meeting was the same. Their topic was the 3 fold mission of the church. Proclaim the Gospel, Redeem the dead, Perfect the saints. This was the first time I had heard his councilors speak. It was great.
Late last week I got an email from a friend my mom knew from HS. She had joined the church some time ago and my parents met up with her during a stake conference there in Cali and they have stayed in contact for a while now. She keeps in contact with me by email and facebook, and she asked a question. She was making a collection of her poems and one of them was a poem she wrote for my first marriage. She was asking for my permission to use it in her book. I had to think on this. My first marriage was a disaster from the beginning. It did produce my beautiful daughter Emma, whom i miss with all my heart. I cannot take back the past, but I can work on teh now, to make sure the future is not messed over. So i told that was fine. I just asked that she not use our names in it. She said that was fine and thanked me for that. She was also putting a short story together and needed a hero for the story. I still have not read it to see if i want to be in it, but thats ok.
Well I have rambled on enough. I have reopened this blog to everyone so that you all can read it.

Amazing

Today for for church the Primary had their program for the year. It was so touching to see them up there and sing and then share their little messages they had practiced for so long. What really touched me was listening to them sing the songs I love to hear and sing. About the temples, about families, and the closing song came from the children's hymnal and I could not sing, I was so much in tears. The song was called, "If the Savior stood beside me." I just looked online and the song is not in the children's hymnal, so I do not know where it came from, but this is a few of the verses.
'If the Savior stood beside me, would I do the things I do? Would I think of His commandments and try harder to be true.... would I say the things I say? Would my words be true and kind, if He were never far away?... So I'll be the kind of person that I know I'd like to be if I could see the Savior standing nigh, watching over me.'
You know I always remember when i was younger my teachers that would ask this question. Would we even recognise Him if He were to come today and stand in the midst of us? Would we be like those in the New Testament in Luke 24:32, 'And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?' I have seen the picture of the Savior standing outside the door knocking, with there being no door handle. He is knocking hoping we will open up to Him. To hear it from the mouths of those in many years from now will be the future Bishops, Elders Quorum Presidents, Primary Presidents, Sunday School Presidents, and others I think the church is in such good hands. The Primary President even bore her testimony afterwards and said that there must have been angels with them, since they did not sound like that in practice. I know the spirit was there. I know He heard these young ones speak. I know He heard the songs they sang and the testimony in their hearts. I add to that, that I know that it is all true. I just have a hard time remembering that. I let the outside world take a hold of me and drag me down. I pray that the decision to have my blessings restored will happen soon. I need to do something in the church to keep me remembering who I serve and why I do so. Today helped me in so many ways.
Then, in Sunday school Chris and I attend the Gospel Essentials class. It is taught by the Gospel Principles book and it was on Eternal Families. So I was doubly hit today. It is so amazing that the other Church's bash on us for our beliefs, and whatnot, then we take a stand, such as Prop 8 from California, the other churches stand behind us. Yet they want to be more tolerant to the alternate persons, they go and hide behind those who take a stand and defend the basics to which the Lord entrusted to man. An old saying that hits to me is, God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Even in the scriptures it says about those who do the alternate lifestyle. That they will be burned. Such was the Israelites when Moses took them across the desert. Such was Sodom and Gomorrah. So this life is going downhill. Well I have said enough for now. Time to go to bed and get some sleep for work.

Headline, "Bad day for shitters as port a potty goes up in smoke."

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=4794846


I wrote the headline, I hope I can get royalties from it....

6 random things

I got this from Sarah, so what the hey.

1. In the coming year, I want to have in SL the tuba Christmas. Its a group of tuba, euphonium, baritone and trombone players coming together to play Christmas music for one day. See if we can do it in a mall, or maybe the Tabernacle or Conference Center. We show up in the morning and practice for a few hours then put on the concert later that afternoon.

2. I would like to create both a Senior and Junior Corps for Drum Corps. There are two Jr corps in Wy and Co that could feed to the Sr corps here.

3. I need to get back playing everyday on my horn. Even if it is just 30 mins. they say some practice is better than none at all. So I need to get that going.

4. I sometimes wonder what nothing is. I'll let that one stew for a moment. So... what is nothing? If there's is such a thing as nothing, then there is a something cause you really can't have nothing in the place of something. Which would mean the nothing has got to be something....

5. Ok now that I have baffled you, I want to go fishing next summer. Buy all my gear this winter, get it all ready and then early spring, or whenever the season starts, go find a place to fish and go.

6. I wonder who else will do this blog on their account. Hmmm......who.....????

Update

Wow, I guess I have been missing a few things. I have been so focused on doing a good job at my work, that I have not taken the time to sit back and relax and let my feelings out. Being a tax software tech is stressful, we have customers calling and just about cry when they call because form 8839 line 3 doesn't flow to the return and they need it right now or life will end. The dead line for 990 returns are this Saturday and if they can't get them out these companies will be penalised and charged from the IRS for not getting their forms in on time. Yeah here is a good one from this week. A volunteer fire dept will be fine $60,000 if the 990 forms are not filed in time. $60,000 fine for not filing on time. They are non-profit. Its ridiculous. Yet the CPS's and whatnot we talk too, have to get it done. Its the law, good old tax law. So if they are having problems on their computers with our software, we have to fix it, or its their backside. And we would loose that account. They would stop doing business with us. Now in the scheme of restaurant work, its the same as a customer getting bad service from lets say Burger King. That person tells 10 other people, they in turn tell 10 of their friends and it just snow balls from there. CPA's will be calling in asking to talk to sales and cancel their accounts and Red Gear is out of the tax software business. Jobs are lost, families are ruined, all hell fire and damnation go loose. Its Pandora's box and the crash of 1933 all over again. OK maybe not that bad, but it can be.



Thank you Sarah for the blogs you wrote. I am sure being a stay at home mom does have a lot of challenges. I was a stay at home dad during most of the year and wanting to get out and do things once in a while was such a nice treat. Though I can understand wanting to get the house cleaned up and try to make it look like you did something there. Going through pictures of loved ones that are not with us for now, is hard. I too wonder if Emma thinks of me. I gather I have been just going through a time that I need to be a hard ass and get to work and do it and worry about everything else that needs to be done in the house and elsewhere, while still working and getting things done. My stress level has gotten to the point that I have been snapping back at the wife and others. I used to be able to take Ben when he cries and just talk to him and he is ok, but just a few minutes of his crying drives me up the wall. I need to get out tonight or tomorrow before I fully snap. I know as I was getting into this job, we didn't play Toontown and life a was a little stressful, but we did other things that de-stressed us. we watched movies, and videos and just relaxed with each other. Now if I can't get a task done on TT I snap. Other toons who basically screw around and get us killed, piss me off to no end. The walkway into our home, always has stuff in the way and I have to over step just to get in. As they say, its the little things that get in the way. So maybe tonight, we go out, have a nice dinner, maybe rent a movie, go by Circuit City since they are closing and see what kinda deal we can get for Chris for a better computer. She needs it so badly. The old one she has at nights freezes up on us when we play games that it really upsets me to the point that we stop talking to each other. It really disturbs me. I think we may just take a break from the game for a few days or whatnot. Saturday I am hoping to head down to SL to go to the planetarium and go see a show. It'll get us out of the house and we can have fun down there.

On a personal note, I am happy that I have finally been able to get my life back on track. Leaving the church was not one of the brightest things I have ever done. Nor was giving up my membership for one night or several nights/weeks/months of enjoyment. It is an important part of a healthy relationship with your partner, but to have it be a focus for life's pursuit, I realised that yes it is to help those who have not had the chance to be here on earth have that chance, and recreation for married couples, but its a deeper meaning then that. I have watched the movies American Pie so many times, that sometimes I wonder if I was like Stiffler in some regard. And you can fill in the blanks here, that I was only as good as the last... Yes I am a male, I do have my urges and physical needs, but I have the inner spirit, who remembers who he is and where he came from, why is he here, and where he is going after this life. Some days I forget who he is. I get so lost in the now, that i forget there is someone else that is there. I do not see Him, but i know He is there. I do not always acknowledge him in the way that should be done, and I know how much it hurts him. But the one thing that I know there is the way to ask Him for forgiveness. Doing what he asks of me. Going every Sunday, partaking the sacrament, reading His words from the lips of the prophets. Going to him in humility and asking forgiveness. Bringing back the spirit in my life to help me remember Him. I am not perfect, but I love my wife, i love my children, I love the Lord, I love his church, I know its true. I am so grateful for Him and his atonement. I still do not know what the road ahead has for me, but I know that it is what the Lord wants me to do, and I need to get off my duff and do it. Stop sweating the small stuff and look at the big picture. Stop sometimes and smell the roses. If i don't i will miss it all.